Monkeyboy and the Case of the Beatrix Barrage

Monkeyboy and the Case of the Beatrix Barrage

Monkeyboy was sitting in a nice French restaurant, across from his girlfriend Beatrix. He had not been contributing much to the conversation, instead he was mostly sitting in his fancy clothes sucking down glass after glass of the restaurant's cheapest wine. Beatrix didn't mind him not talking, Monkeyboy had found out that as long as you make some noises intermittently like you were actually listening to the conversation she could prattle on forever. She was starting to talk about how her feet smelled worse in the morning than at night, or something like that, Monkeyboy didn't really care, he had brought her there for a purpose.

Suddenly he leapt onto their table, landed and stayed in a crouched position. "I know this may be hard for you, but could you please just shut the @#$%@ up, cunt!" Monkeyboy found that the C-Word always got her attention, as I'm sure it does every woman. "I know you've been banging Turtleboy, that lazy @!@#. And I just wanted to show you one last time what you'll never see again."

He whips out his penis and displays it for her, then proceeds to let loose the strongest stream he had ever let loose. He peed in her hair, he peed on her face, and a little even got in her mouth in the initial folly. Monkeyboy starts to whoop and howl and can see the biggest chef from the back coming from the kitchen to show him the way out.

Instead he jumps from the table and grabs hold of the closest chandelier letting this rampant stream of wine-induced urine. He literally got it all over the restaurant. The last little bit flew almost in slow motion and landed on an outlet across the room.

Sparks flew from the outlet and caught some drapes a blaze. Panic overtook the patrons and it was every man for himself on the way out of there. Beatrix was trying to make her way out when Monkeyboy hip checked her into the fire and ran outside.

Sitting outside with the other patrons, they all watched as Beatrix ran outside ablaze and screaming, people were chasing her with jackets and such trying to put her out, but she kept on a running. Monkeyboy just looked on in amusement, "What a stupid bitch!"