Freaky Geeks and the Lonely Camera

So, last Tuesday night I got a bad case of the woe is me's and an overwhelming urge to message girls from the internet dating sites I've been frequenting. I hadn't had any luck in a while and someone I really thought would message me back didn't, so here's the result. Mind you, it was in the middle of the night and I was feeling worthless at the time. I feel great now, I've been chatting with a couple girls and one has been messaging me back. Nice, right. I call this....

BREAKIN' 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Wait, that's been taken, crap, better go with...

NIGHT OF THE INCOHERENT RANTER 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO(Much better.)

Subject: Please Read Then Delete

Hi, I know I'm not who you're hoping to get emails from, but I can't help that. I'm just me. Will I always be this version of me, god I hope not, I can be pretty annoying sometimes. So if you'd like to get into a bit of correspondence electronically with someone you don't have to feel worried about impressing or giving the wrong opinion of you, I'm your guy. Or you could just email me back saying "I'd rather gargle razor blades then listen to your inane chatter", that's cool too. I'd actually prefer that to no response at all. If you didn't get the last email, I like the new pics, especially the one where you're getting the evil eye from some chic and you look totally smashed.

Let me know what you think, Yay or Nay,

Robert

Oh wait, they get worse.

Subject: Settling?

I'm just going to put this out there. If you're ever thinking about settling, I'm your guy. I'm a bit homely, but I can be funny at times, and boy do I have personality, by the bucketload I do. Personally, I'd hold out for someone less me, but that's just me.

Robert

And here's where the incoherent part comes in.

Subject: Hi.

Hi again. Good thinking, you got put yourself out all over the place and hopefully Mr. Right will see you, not come off as a jackass and sweep you off your feet. Good luck to you, little buddy.

Robert

Does that make sense, I have no idea. But I think that this started when a certain miss didn't email me back after I saw that she was on one of the sites. A certain miss who borrows my camera to make her movie(*Autumn*, picture me coughing and saying her name at the same time.). I was just hoping for a hi, how you been, and got nothing. So someone please tell me if the first one's creepy at all. I have no sense about such things, some of you know this better than others. I sent the first one on the 11th. Here it is.

Subject: Freaky Geeks and the Lonely Camera

Hey there. Fancy meeting you here. Anybody hassling you yet. You gotta watch out for the freaks, they're freaky. I'm just a geek myself, so I'm okay.

I hope your movie gets back into gear. My camera's getting lonely. And good luck with this site, I dig your array of pics so you should have the hounds howling your way in no time.

Later Gator,

Robert

5 days later and no response, that first part was a play on this show she likes, Freaks & Geeks. We watched an episode while Mike and I were waiting for her actors to show for a shoot we were helping her with. Maybe she didn't catch that. Either way, I was hoping for a hello there, how you been, is that too much to ask? Well, the night of the Incoherent Ranter ended with this little masterpiece.

Subject: The Sacred Response.

Well, have you had to deal with any crazies, besides myself anyways. I just wanted to say that it's okay to email me back saying hi and that you've been chatting with this guy that you think may be the one. Or just say hi. And I hope that you didn't see that I messaged you again and cringed. If you did, leave that to yourself, I've gotta keep the little self esteem I have left. I may actually want to go out trolling one of these days, it's not all that likely, but could happen. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just curious if these sites actually work. And I thought we were movie buds? 5 days and no response. It cut me, deep. ( This is where I'd put one of those emoticons with the frowny face, but I think they're stupid, so I'll just write about using one.) I really do hope you finish your movie someday. Bye forever.(Unless you bless me with the heavenly presence that is your response, sacred that it is.)

Robert

Man, what a night. If there was ever any question to whether I was a tool or not, it was answered emphatically that night. And still no reply. Oh well. I hope this gave some of you a bit of entertainment, 'cause I've reread them and I think they're funny as hell.