Little Automated Women

After reading the continuing adventures of Mischa and Asy, I felt the need to write a little about the blight on humanity that is automated sexual advances from pretend women. They come from everywhere and piss me off to no end.

The first and easiest to ignore are the spam emails of girls hot for your junk and want you to lay that pipe. Example:

Subject: blonde milf in pantyhose bends over and shows ass

Email: http://www.neverbroghfeelovefigre.com/ playing with huge dildos

Please noone go to that website. I'd hate to have one of you horny mothers perpetuate sites like that. It's pretty clear where that stuff comes from, I've been to my share of naughty sites. THe emails are still really annoying.

Second, I don't know if any of you ever try to chat on yahoo, but they're riddled with automated girls who want you to check out there web cam and are queafing with anticipation. I usually have to cruise to 2 or 3 just to find another actual person to talk to, and then it's just some dude. And there's nothing more awkward then trying to talk a dude into pretending to be a girl and have cyber sex with me, or so Mike says.

Third, and one that gets me almost every time. Myspace friend requests from hot chick who would also like you to check out there web cam. It gets me every time, 'cause I think, hey, I like getting new myspace friends. Hopes crushed once again by these internet floozies.

Fourth, and this is probably just for me, but I've been trying out the whole internet dating thing. Well, a year and 5 sites later I'm still looking for the one. I've been on dates, but it's started to feel like an exercise in futility. On to what I wanted to say, at the site True.com, there is a ton of automation get my hopes up and crush them in one fell swoop going on. They work with the wink system, instead of sending an email, which takes thirty seconds, you can wink at someone and let them know you're interested. Actually, I've found that they're just easier to ignore. But again, I digress, I started getting all kinds of winks from all kinds of women from all over the place. From women that say in their profile that they want nothing to do with me, there's actually a pic of me on one(Not really, but it would be funny, incredibly sad, but funny, mostly for Mike.). Another thing is that I know that none of these women even looked at my profile, so where did these winks come from. I emailed one of the women who I could tell wanted nothing to do with me and asked her if she had winked at me and to please email me back. Stopped holding my breath for that reply months ago. Oh well, the specifics of my internet dating exploits is for another blog.

And if the guy who owns Outerinfo ever crosses my path and I know it's him, I will go medieval on his demonic ass. I'll act like I dropped something, then punch him square in the nuts. When he bends over in pain, he'll be in perfect position for my next maneuver, the DDT. Right into the pavement. And as he's dazed from a cracked skull I'll drag his ass to the curb, make him bite it then curb stomp his ass. Who am I kidding, I'd never do anything like that, I'd push him in front of a bus, might get away with that.

And Now, the Worst of 2007, Movie Edition

I did my favorite movies of 2007 and I stopped at 10. There were a lot more than 10 movies that I loved this year, but I made it 10 to make me think more on it and come up with my real favorites, or the ones that were the freshest in my mind. Addendum to the list: I didn't see Juno till 2008, so I'm not counting it, and Sweeney Todd would probably be somewhere on the bottom half of the list, somewhere between 6 and 10.

But I digress, I already did that blog, this one's about the worst movies of 2007, which there was a lot that I just didn't like, while there were a few that just made me wanna burn the theater down. Now, some of these movies may not be that bad, but I was really disappointed in them to the point that I had bad movie experiences. You be the judge. I won't point out why each one made the list, I just hated them. Enjoy.

15. Catch and Release
14. I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
13. Evan Almighty
12. Pathfinder
11. License To Wed
10. Mr. Woodcock
9. Skinwalkers
8. The Ex
7. Epic Movie
6. Georgia Rule
5. Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters
4. War
3. Death Sentence
2. I Think I Still Love My Wife
1. I Know Who Killed Me

Okay, so 1-5 are definitive as my 5 suckiest times at the cinema this last year. The rest are pretty much where they need to be, but if you come up to me with a reasonable and logical explanation of why Mr. Woodcock is worse than The Ex, I may just agree with you.

And I've already seen one that's going to make next year's list, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Movie. Well, it is Uwe Boll, what did I expect.

Favorite Movies of the Year, so far

The year is almost over, and there are a few movies left that look pretty good, like Sweeney Todd and National Treasure 2. I'll just have to amend this later if anything makes it to this list. First off, I want to do some honorable mentions: Pirates of the Caribbean-At World's End; Enchanted; The Bourne Ultimatum; No Country For Old Men; The Golden Compass; TMNT; and that's enough. So here is my top 10 movies of 2007, keep in mind I rate movies on how moved or entertained I was.

10. The Kingdom - When I first saw the trailer for this one I immediately thought "Man that movie's gonna suck." After hearing good things about it from several sources, and having nothing better to do on a Friday night, I went to see it. Man was I wrong, it starts out as a procedural, showing the Iraqis perspective on our occupation as the team tries to figure out who bombed an American encampment. Then toward the end it turns into a kick ass action flick as they try to get one of their own who was kidnapped back. This movie gets intense. Glad I checked it out.

9. Grindhouse - It's easy to tell why this one made the list: Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino are two of my favorite directors; over-the-top zombie killing fun; intense car chase sequences; Freddy Rodriguez being a complete bad ass; Kurt Russell as the creepy bad guy; and three words that say why the movie rocks so much, Machine Gun Leg.

8. Shoot 'Em Up - This is the most over the top action movie since I don't know when. I went with this movie from the beginning and was not disappointed. Clive Owen is the ultimate bad ass in this movie, he just doesn't miss. The movie gets creative in how he uses his marksmanship capabilities. My enjoyment levels watching this movie were off the charts.

7. Superbad - This is the funniest movie of the year. Jonah Hill and Michael Cera are becoming two of my favorite actors.

6. Shooter - Mark Wahlberg gets set up for the attempted killing of the President, and he don't like that much. After he gets away, he makes his way up the food chain to the guy who ordered the set up. There is also some great buddy action flick moments, and great uses of his being a sniper. Kick ass flick.

5. Bridge to Terabithia - If anything, this is the saddest movie of the year. Two kids make their own fantasy world where they go to get away from things. A blooming friendship leads to tragedy, and the ending with his little sister is beautiful. Also, the ultra cute Zooey Deschanel makes an appearance. Just ask my sister how sad this movie is, if you tell someone to watch this, warn them, tears are a coming.

4. Ratatouille - I love Pixar movies, The Incredibles, Finding Nemo, and the Toy Storys are movies that I always go back to when I feel like watching a feel good movie. This movie is right up there as one of Pixar's best. This movie does what Pixar does best, the underdog who shows that you can do anything if you put your heart into it, no matter who you are. Even if you're a rat who wants to be a chef. Every time I saw this my spirits lifted and the world was a little bit brighter.

3. Stardust - This movie just enchanted me from the start. I read the book a while ago and enjoyed it, but the movie went above and beyond what I thought this movie would be. It was fun, whimsical, moving, intense, romantic, I loved this movie thoroughly.

2. Once - Take two people whose lives revolve around music, who get together and find out that they are the perfect match, musically. The romance nevers gets off the ground, but you just know that they would be perfect for eachother, but both of their insecurities keep them away and they both go back to the lovers who wronged them. The music in this is awesome, and this is the most beautiful and moving movie of the year.

1. Live Free or Die Hard - Bruce Willis is the coolest actor of his generation, a man of action who can deliver a one-liner like no one's business. And with Justin Long as his sidekick, this movie was just taken to a whole new level. The best action movie of the year, with a ton of comedy and wit. And my favorite movie of this last year.

And there we are. The funnest list to make of the year.

A Brand New Blog

I hadn't decided whether or not I wanted to continue this blog after I got home from my road trip. I'm not really one for putting their deepest emotions out there for anyone to see. But I realized something, it's just a blog. I don't have to put anything into it that I don't feel comfortable with. Who knows, I may throw a little anguish in here from time to time, but this will mostly be about things that I've noticed, things that are pissing me off, or just random stuff that I wanted to bug Mike with but thought better.

For instance, it's hard to find the perfect house when you're working on a budget. There's always something that you love a lot about one, but then something else turns you off of it, whether it be the neighborhood, the floors, the yard, but it's always something. Today I saw a couple houses that were great. One was brand new, ranch style, lots of room, and I just loved the layout of the house, but the neighborhood wasn't great, there was an identical house next door, no A/C, and not much of a yard. The other I saw was an older ranch, big garage, nice deck in the back, big back yard, big barn, cool looking tree in the backyard, roomy, but there was also no A/C, some of the floors would have to be redone, and who knows what else would need to be done in the next few years, it is an older house. I've been looking and this seems to be the trend on the budget I'm working on: it's not gonna be perfect. So you know what I think, so what, it's not perfect now, with a little bit of work, I could come to thinkof it that way someday. But seeing as how just writing the word work gave me hives, we'll have to see.

Day Ten: Lansing, MI

This is the last entry for the roadtrip. I got home early Sunday and have been catching up with shows on my DVR, and pretty much just loafing about. I was beat when I got back, so I took it easy.

After I left the Boulder area I headed west to the Rocky Mountain National Park. As you get close to the park there is a town that leads into it, Estes Park, and if they ever thought about doing a Northern Exposure remake, it could be made here. Lots of log cabins and old style buildings and the thing that reminded me the most, elk on the side of the road eating grass, just chillin'. I didn't get a picture 'cause it was right by the middle of town on a somewhat busy street. I tell you what, there were elk all over that park, on the side of the road, you definitely had to keep your eyes on the road.

The park itself was really beautiful. it started off in the floor of Rocky's where it's teeming with trees, green and gold, to the top, where it's barren and snow covered. Here's a few of my favorite pictures.


You definitely had to take the mountain pass slow at times. Two miles above sea level on a two way street. It got a little nerve wracking at times.

There were pulloffs along the road where you could take a short path to something, sometimes a lake, sometimes just neat looking rock formations. I tried to take all that I could, but it became apparent that Rocky Mountain air is not the best air when you're fighting a cold, thank goodness I brought a jacket and gloves, just in case, although a winter hat, just in case, would have been nice too.

I spent a while in the park, but then I headed out, I took a road North through the rockies some more and drove west through Wyoming toward my next destination, Mt. Rushmore. I got there just after dark. For some reason the parking was free, nice. As I approached the Mt. all I could think about was how much it looked like a matte painting lit up by spotlights like it was. I stared at it for a while, tried to get a picture, but with the only light being spotlights, the best I got was not quite crystal clear. It's one of those surreal moments as you think about how something like that could even be done in those days.

I hauled ass for the next two days, cutting through South Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana and back to Michigan. I ended up sleeping at a rest area on the way, that's what they're there for, right. Plus, I got to thinking about how much this trip was costing and fell into cheapo mode. Well, I just didn't stay in a hotel Friday night. I got home early Sunday morning around 2 AM. I spent Sunday recuping by watching football, and now I'm back. I'm glad I went, but it's good to be back.

Day Eight: Boulder, CO

Man, today was just the rejuvenation I needed. Driving through Utah and Colorado, the scenery was so beautiful, time just flew by. I took I-70E. Here's a pic of what it was like in Utah.

I-70 through Colorado weaved around and sometimes through the Rocky Mountains. It was a great ride.

Day Seven: Las Vegas Part Two

Las Vegas, I am at a loss of words of what to say about this town. There is a lot of things to do, but being alone I went for the easiest thing to find to do in Vegas, gambling. Now I didn't lose the house or anything like that, but I sure didn't win. Man I'm a crybaby. Done with that, now onto the things that were good today. My sister Rolanda told me about an elvis impersonator who performs free everyday. I went and checked him out at Bill's, formerly Barbary Coast. He was really good, his gimmick was that he was Big Elvis. I have no idea who the chic is.

The other thing that was sweet was the fountain in front of the Bellagio. You know, the meeting place for the crew in the Ocean movies. I think I'll go check 'em out again before I go. I tell you what, I checked out the Bellagio and that place is awesome.

Oh yeah, I'm staying at the Planet Hollywood, the room is pretty nice. There's random memorabilia in every room, in mine is a picture of the Blues Brothers, a copy of a letter by Bruce Lee where he stated his plan on how he's gonna be the highest paid Oriental super star in the US, and a poster of 16 Blocks.

Oh, and there isn't a missing entry into the blog, I just couldn't get myself out of the room yesterday. I didn't feel good, so I just stayed in. Tomorrow I leave early, so I can get to Colorado and drive through the Rockies while it's still light out.